And to think, when I saw this Star Magazine cover this morning, I thought it was going to be another boring bullsh-t story. But it’s actually funny! Star hasn’t released anything online yet, but Jezebel had some absolutely hilarious excerpts from “Celebrity Assistants Tell All!” Here are some of the best pieces (operative word: toupee):
*Kourtney Kardasian makes her assistant ride in the trunk of her Range Rover when the car is full. She believes in a lot of old wives tales, like if you walk over a baby, it won’t grow, so she freaks out when Mason is on the floor.
*Khloe Kardashian sends her assistants to buy sex toys. Britney Spears talks in a baby voice all the time and throws lots of temper tantrums.
*Mariah Carey has taken to lying on the couch, having her assistant feed her pizza or ice cream, like she’s a toddler.
*Miley Cyrus is a flasher; she thinks it’s hilarious to greet first-time guests at the door and shock them by showing some skin.
*John Travolta has 102 hairpieces in different lengths, colors and sizes, in case he gains or loses weight. They have their own refrigerated room in his house. A source says: “He likes to visit and pet them once in a while. They’re his little treasures.”
[From Star Magazine via Jezebel]
The Travolta one still has my laughing, but the Mariah one is good too. At the end of the day, though, does the Mariah story really surprise anyone? I mean, don’t you just read that and think “Yes, of course.” I would be disappointed if Mariah did NOT get fed like a baby. But the Travolta one – “They’re his little treasures” is maybe the BEST LINE EVER. Second only to “He likes to visit and pet them once in a while.” Okay, I just snorted from laughter. “My precious…oh, my front weave. Preeee-shaaasss….”
Speaking of Travolta, Star does have a nicer little story online. According to their sources, Kelly is not pregnant with twins, just with one baby, and it’s a boy. Apparently, they’ve already had a (Xenu-themed?) baby shower. I would be coughing “Bullsh-t” right about now, but Star broke the story of Kelly’s pregnancy first, so I think they must have a decent source in the Travolta camp. And you know that ALSO means that we can take the refrigerated hairpiece story as motherf-cking gospel!
Here’s a closeup of one of Travolta’s treasured mesh fronts.
Travolta in NYC on Feb 2, and in Paris on Feb. 11, 2010. Credit: WENN. Star cover courtesy of Jezebel.
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